How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
