And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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