This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
