Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm too high and old for this...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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