Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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