well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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