Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
how does that bad decision feel?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
