i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
