My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Please, let me fuck your mom
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
