K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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