Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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