I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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