what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
