My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
