put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
