I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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