SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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