there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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