Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
