Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She bit a glass in half.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
