how can u be prego again
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dicks are not precious.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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