she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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