...so i touched it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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