Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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