M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
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She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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