I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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