I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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