69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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