I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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