well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
