anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
