I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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