dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
