she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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