watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
