woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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