like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
