How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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