ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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