I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
