i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
