sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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