Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
