I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize