whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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