do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
