Me too!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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