It's Friday. Sex?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
