I wannas sexs uuuuu
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
