She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
