No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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