I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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