if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize