my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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