420 ftw
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
