After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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