Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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